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  • Writer's picturePatty Kramer

Paybacks and a Swinging Door

Updated: Jul 14, 2023




Life is so much more interesting at Wish Island now that My Boy, My Girl and Beauty live with us. Bright Eyes moved in, too, along with a long two-legs called Admiral who appears every so often and livens up the household while he is here. Most days, Bright Eyes is in charge of the three softer two-legs, but when Admiral Longlegs comes to visit, everyone looks up to him for their orders.

Of course, me and Fred spend all out time looking up at everyone, mostly begging for tasty treats. Sometimes our necks get sore between the begging, and the tugging and pulling games we play with anyone who will take on the challenge. The two of us get a little relief when the smallest of all two-legs shows up, as he gets down on the floor and lets me stand over the top of him! I call him Noisy, as he can chatter as much as Whiny two-legs, plus he can make everyone cover up their ears with all his loudness exactly like they do when I’m barking in my still, too shrill, puppy voice.

Yesterday, Whiny, Boy, Girl and Noisy were playing with shiny pieces of paper and taking turns yelling Uno. Feeling completely left out, and not understanding the command because each one of the two-legs acted differently when it was yelled, I barked loudly, tugged hard at Whiny’s pants legs, and then viciously shook Fred. No one paid a bit of attention to me. So being bored, I quietly chewed off the little loop on the back of Whiny’s prized shoes, being so sneaky, and using such tiny bites that she never even noticed!

Then I got a little more revenge for their ignoring me when one of the shiny papers fell and landed up against the leg of a chair. Grabbing it, I purposedly punched rows and rows of little holes through it before it was missed. Finally, after they discovered both of my paybacks, I’m happy to report that I was included in the game. Either sitting in a lap and helping direct the chaos that was going on between the four of them, or at least getting good dog pats when I ran around to their chairs and stood on my hind legs where they could easily reach me and scratch my head.

The game wasn’t all that fun for a dog, as it didn’t have a single fetch or drop command. And although the two-legs played loudly with their mouths, no one got up from their chairs for a very long time. Leaving me without a clue as to what all the excitement was about. The most disappointing part of the whole Uno experience was that there was absolutely no food on that tabletop for me to share in. Boring!

I’m always hungry, and it doesn’t help that there are so many good smells in this house now that every room has its own two-legs. Just note, one of these days I’m going to make it on the other side of all of the many closed doors. Especially the one at the top of the stairs that keeps me from sniffing around inside where Boy and Girl live. Though positively I’ll never get into Pretty’s room because she guards it like a big dog with a very juicy bone. I’ve had a glimpse through her door at some long, long ribbons attached to a big flat flower that drag the floor. How I’d love to yank those off and chew, chew, chew on them!

One thing for sure, I’m not nosing my snout and pushing my body through the only swinging

door in the house ever again. It separates Whiny’s tiny room from the larger room where she and the Booga-man comb their hair each morning. You know, the little secret room where her lady parts react like mine when I get all excited over company. Only no one comes around with a paper to clean it up and tells her what a bad dog she’s been! The reason I’m staying clear of that door is that the other day when I managed to slip by her and get all the way inside, the door swung shut behind me and I was trapped!

At first the air captured in there with me had me sniffing so hard I nearly passed out. It was crammed full of smells that could drive a dog crazy trying to figure out how to reach them inside that big slippery bowl. Then I panicked! Being shut inside an enclosure that wouldn’t hold a half-a-pack of decent-sized dogs really wasn’t all that much fun.

I sure was glad when Whiny missed her constant companion. Though her pleasure in finding me quickly dissipated when she discovered soft paper covering nearly every inch of the floor. Nor was she happy about the fragrant decoration that I left behind.

I wish I could tell her to add a rug inside that little room just in case I’m ever trapped in there again. She should know by now that I prefer something soft to do my business on.



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